Brave women across South Wales share their experiences of abuse to encourage others to come forward

Brave victims of violence against women and girls (VAWG) have shared their stories in the hope of encouraging others to come forward and to help end VAWG.

‘See Me’, a new campaign by South Wales Police, highlights incidents of VAWG, with victims and survivors telling their own experiences to encourage everyone to stand against all forms of abuse.

Amara* shares snippets of the years of domestic abuse she suffered from her then-partner. He controlled and mentally and physically abused her, which still has a lasting impact on Amara to this day.

“The gaslighting and sneaky, sinister behaviour started shortly after we moved into our first house.

“I was cooking tea one evening, chopping up some vegetables, when one fell on the floor. I picked it up and popped it in the boiling water and he hit me over the head with a peppermill saying that I was trying to poison him.

“These incidents increased. When we were on holiday, he physically assaulted me. He threw me across the room because I had been dancing with the children and other parents at the children’s disco. I forgave him instantly.

“The emotional abuse and power play was constant, he would say things like ‘what kind of woman are you’, ‘look what you’ve made me do’ and ‘you’re mentally ill’. I was never good enough.

“His eyes would go so dark, he would de-humanise me, so that he could do what he wanted, and he told me everything that was wrong was my fault.

“He would let me go out, but by me choosing to go out there would be consequences, so it was easier to not go out at all.”

Things had to change for Amara and after suffering years of abuse, she decided enough was enough.

“I told myself, I want to become the woman I needed at that time, because back then I knew nothing about domestic violence and not many people around me knew either. I have become that woman.

“I’m helping others, which also helps me. I’m making sense what happened to me and with that, I’m helping other people.”

New data has found at least 1 in every 12 women will be a victim of VAWG related crimes per year, with the exact number expected to be much higher.**

The campaign aims to raise awareness to identify signs of abuse and encourage reporting, with an emphasis on the fact that it’s everyone’s responsibility to call this behaviour out, whether it’s domestic violence, controlling and coercive behaviour, sexual violence, intimidation, stalking and harassment, catcalling, revenge porn or unwanted touching.

Assistant Chief Constable Joanna Maal said:

“Violence against women and girls is a matter of priority for South Wales Police.

“We want all women and girls who live, work, socialise or study in South Wales to not only be safe, but to feel safe, whether that is in public spaces, at home or online.

“Women and girls should be able to live confidently, without feeling frightened, intimidated, or harassed.

“Our new campaign, See Me, has been developed to ultimately reduce incidents of violence, harassment, and abuse. We have worked with a group of extremely brave women who have shared their stories to encourage other victims to come forward or seek support if they don’t feel ready to report.”

 

South Wales Police and Crime Commissioner Emma Wools said:

“Tackling violence against women and girls remains a key priority of mine, and while some progress has been made across South Wales Police force area towards improving our collective response, clearly, there is a long way to go.

“The voices of brave victims and survivors, sharing their experiences are crucial for us all to understand how the impact of all forms of VAWG restricts freedom and liberty and erodes away at self-esteem and confidence.

“I hope that the See Me campaign raises awareness through the sharing of experiences and connects with other victims and survivors who need our help.  including those who are marginalised and have additional barriers to accessing support.

“I’d like to offer my sincere thanks to those survivors who have shared their voice to develop this campaign to raise awareness and encourage others seek support.

“I hope this campaign will encourage and strengthen our collective awareness and responses to the needs of women and girls from all communities when they seek the support and guidance.”

 

If you've experienced or witnessed abuse, by reporting it you could help to end violence against women and girls.

🗪 Live Chat https://www.south-wales.police.uk/

💻 Report online https://www.south-wales.police.uk/ro/report

📞 101 or Crimestoppers anonymously 0800 555 111.

Always call 999 in an emergency.

If you don't want to talk to the police or if you want extra support, there are lots of people who can help.  You are in control, and it's up to you who you talk to and what help you get. 

You can speak to these people and organisations in confidence, and unless they think someone is in serious danger, they won't share anything with South Wales Police.

You can find a list of support organisations on our campaign page: www.south-wales.police.uk/see-me

 

*Not their real name. We have worked with women and girls across South Wales to share their stories. We have hidden their identities for their own protection.

**The figures are contained in the first national analysis of the scale of violence against women and girls (VAWG) by the National Police Chiefs’ Council (NPCC).